A chance to reconnect

This weekend was about a chance to reconnect.

It was about time to reconnect with myself. Time to reconnect with my husband and time to unplug and reconnect with a simpler way of living.

My parents requested that the girls begin what they hope will become an annual tradition for our girls -- an extended visit at Grandma and Grandpa's house. So Wednesday evening, I drove Belle and Lilly to Flatwoods, where we had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa and then they went on their merry way.

When I returned home -- solo -- my husband and I felt a bit awkward. What do we do now that there aren't two small people to bath and wrestle into bed? I was both weird and refreshing to make as much noise as I wanted at 11 p.m. without fear of waking little people.

It didn't take long for Andrew and I to appreciate this new found freedom we had. Freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted and to enjoy ourselves as a young married couple again. Over the course of three and half days, we rediscovered ourselves individually and corporately and learned that it sure is easier to enjoy each other when we're not breaking up fights over toys or wrestling children into bed. We enjoyed not one, but two dinners out to nice restaurants. What an experience to be able to sit down for an entire meal and not worry about entertaining the children long enough for the food to arrive -- only then to have to make a quick exit because you've used up all your tricks waiting for the food.

We traveled to our family's cabin in Pocahontas County, where we enjoyed the great outdoors. We roasted marshmallows. Took a drive through the country and just chilled. I was able to finish a novel that I've been reading -- eat, pray, love -- and make my way through more than half of a second novel -- Swapping Live by Jane Green. I have to admit that I have a guilty pleasure of chic lit, especially by British authors. (I secretly wish I was British. Just love the accents!) Jane Green has written several good novels that I've ready -- Jemima J, Mr. Maybe and others. Her latest novel, ironically, is timed well for this stage in my life. Swapping Lives is about a single, British journalist of a woman's magazine who swaps lives for a month with an American mother of two, who appears to have the perfect life in surbabia.

I'm only 3/4 of the way through the novel, but it's been entertaining to read how we all feel the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. How when you're single you wish you had the perfect country house, the handsome husband who adores you, two adorable children and don't forget the dog! When you're married with two children and struggling to have it all -- career and family -- you daydream of how wonderful the single life was. In the end, I'm sure Amber -- the surbabia mother -- will realize that she has a wonderful family and just needs to make a few adjustments to her life to not get trapped in the whole Desperate Housewives thing going on in her town.

After this weekend, I realized that I can still enjoy time with myself and with my husband. And that it's good to take some time away for the two of us -- so we can reconnect and rediscover that love that allowed us to create two beautiful and wonderful children!

Where have all the toys gone?

Where oh where have my little toys gone? Oh where, oh where could they be?

I've searched high and low, near and far, but alas, I don't know where they are.

I've looked. I've looked

under tables, chairs, a TV stand, beds -- even under the couch.

This fruitless investigation is turning me into a grouch.

I've searched nooks and crannies

for that special toy from Granny.

All my efforts were for naught, those ruthless creatures don't want to be caught.

Bob the Tomato, the letter 'K', and Woody the Cowboy must be having a hoedown or at the very least a heyday together.

They're the best of friends now. Two birds of a feather.

I imagine them dancing about

like a scene from Toy Story. They hear me coming and shout

"Hurry. Hide. She'll take us away.

Where we'll be reunited with Belle and Lilly

and won't be animated. Isn't that silly?"

Where the toys hide, I don't know.

But the list is ever growing.

Just once, I wish a toy set would remain complete.

At least for one day. So I could rest my sore feet.

Share your missing toy story. The best story will receive a free GoFish Guys CD.

What an earthworm taught me about being a good mother

As a parent, you often suffer from a misguided form of perverse alturism: unsolicited parenting advice. "You know what you do to get a baby to go to sleep when she's teething, rub a little whiskey on her gums." Um, yeah, because what I want is an alcoholic 6-year-old. When I was pregnant with our first daughter, Belle, we received all kinds of unsolicited parenting advice. And I'd just nod my head and say uh-huh. When our second daughter, Lilly, came along and we were struggling with a newborn and a 16-mont-old we sought out a lot of advice -- especially from parents with two children. It's then that many folks who were so willing to offer advice the first go-around clammed up.

It's funny how you can pick up parenting tips and advice in the strangest of place. The best parenting advice I received in my three years as a parent, I learned while I attending a national fundraising conference earlier this year. From Jane Goodall of all people! And the advice that Jane offered wasn't from the perspective of being a parent, but rather from a child's perspective.
See, Jane's mother encouraged her interests in the outside world, in bugs and animals -- which helped shape her future. Jane shared stories about her childhood with us at this national conference. One story in particular brought tears to my eyes as I thought about our oldest daughter, Belle, and how I should be shaping her future.

As a young girl, poor and living in the English countryside, Jane enjoyed the outdoors. One evening, she brought four earthworms with her to bed. Did her mother go scream and shout, "What are you doing? Look at the mess you've made," when she discovered Slimey and his friends had come inside for a sleepover? No! She didn't angrily strip the bed, throw the sheets in the wash and threaten to bath Jane again. No, Jane's mother simply explained to her curious daughter that if she kept the earthworms with her in bed they would die because they needed the soil to live. So Jane went back outside to deposit her friends back into the garden.

Jump ahead a couple of decades, Jane's mother encouraged her to save her money to make her first trip to Africa to study the chimpanzees and when the British government said they wouldn't let Jane sit out in the jungle to study chimps without an escort her mother gladly volunteered to join her for four months in the African jungle.

Now I'm not jumping at the chance to sit in the woods and study deer poopies (as Belle likes to refer to them) but I realized one important lesson that day. Rather than squashing my daughter's natural curiosities, I should encourage them. I could refrain from jumping off the deep end when she wants to jump into a mud puddle or collect caterpillars in her jacket pocket. I could, instead, jump in that puddle with her and help her identify which type of caterpillar she has found.

Who knows? Maybe one day, she will become a Jane Goodall.
(to learn more about Dr. Goodall's work today, visit http://www.rootsandshoots.org/)

The MOM song

So today's post is an easy cop-out. A friend shared this cute video (and nice tribute to mothers) with me on Facebook. I had to share it with everyone. Check out more about the GoFishGuys. It appears they have some cute music for kids that won't drive you crazy!

a new way to tell time

There is a line in a great movie called "About a Boy" that provides sound parenting advice for modern moms. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Not only because hottie Hugh Grant stars in the flick, but it's a funny film. The film shows single mothers who struggle to raise their children. In fact, at one point the main character, Will, joins a group called SPAT -- Single Parents Alone Together. It's a quote by Will (who pretends to be the proud parent of a two-year-old boy) -- not the single mothers -- that is actually good parenting advice for us modern moms.

"I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up, and I often wonder, to be absolutely honest, if I'd ever have time for a job; how do people cram them in?"

The last bit of the quote gives you a glimpse at how self-centered and out of touch with reality, Will is and also highlights one of the film's funnier scenes. But what is pertinent to us moms is the concept of units of time. Will broke down his day into units of time because an hour can be intimidating.

Think about your infant or toddler and how an hour of time can feel like an eternity to them -- and us! But if you break down his or her day into units of time, then it's more manageable for the child and let's face it, Mommy. Now, at this young age, you can even press your luck with a half hour. So I propose adopting this philosophy with some revision: 1 unit = 15 minutes. Playing with Play-Doh, 1 unit. Reading three of our favorite bedtime stories, 1 unit. Lunch, 2 units. Bathtime? Well, let's say be flexible with that one. But you get the idea. Thinking about how to survive the 12 hours your child is awake a day (if you're one of the lucky few whose children sleep through the night) is much more daunting than how to manage the next 15 minutes.