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Oooh, who's that kid?

These past two months have been a whirlwind in the Beckner household. I'm eagerly awaiting the end of October, when most of my extracurricular activities will come to an end. Then we'll just have the busy holiday season ahead of us. During these busy days, I've had to reprioritize my life. Let some things slide. Let those extracurricular activities fall to the way side. And so my blog(s) have suffered. I haven't posted regularly. It's not that I haven't had plenty to write about.

In the last two weeks, my youngest daughter turned 2! She has completely adjusted to pre-school. Surprisingly, it only took her two weeks for the tears to stop. She has not only stopped crying, but she looks forward to going to class each week.

It's been a hectic time, but each day has brought us new discoveries, new challenges and new precious moments. Like tonight. For the last four days, I've been a single parent while the hubby was a way on business. My evenings were crazy -- to say the least. But the girls and I had some good times. Reading new stories. Sharing laughs. And tonight enjoying a favorite childhood treat -- Oreos. Oooh, who's that kid eating the Oreo cookie? My precious Belle. Who made me smile and giggle as she snatched up that cookie and with such precision unscrewed the cookie to reach the delicious creme filling. She she licked to her heart's delight. She politely handed me the top of the cookie and said, "Here, Mommy you can have this part."

Lilly, following her sisters, lead unscrewed her cookie, but not so delicately. Hers broke in half, but she still reached the creamy center just the same. She gleefully showed her delight with a chocolatey smile.

As for Mommy, I dipped mine into my Milky Way Latte, to which Belle replied, "Mommy, don't do that. It's gross." I thought for a second about sharing her the joys of dipping Oreos into milk, but thought better. I can just imagine what other foods might end up in drinks at dinnertime because they are unable to make the distinction for this special treat.

After taking a bite out of her Oreo, Belle said, "Look, Mommy it's a moon."

It was so precious. All of us eating Oreos. Giggling. It was a perfect setting for a commercial.

Vote Mom

After reading an interesting Parents Magazine article and having a lively political conversastion at a pajama party tonight, I am encouraged to write my feelings about this upcoming election and put it out there how I will vote.

The Parents magazine article featured a fellow mother, who described how she was first a Republican, then an Independent, then finally converted to a Democrat. But now she is something greater -- she is a Mom. She will vote for the person who will hold the children's best interests at heart. I agree with her perspective on this upcoming campaign. And I'll take it a step further -- I encourage you to review where Obama stands on many issues that us Moms care about.

There are some key issues that the organization for which I work, the YWCA, works diligently every day in our community to combat, including poverty and domestic violence. Obama was the co-sponsor and helped reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act in January 2006. He is aware of the great poverty in our nation and wants to work to fix the root of that problem, not put a bandaid on. He believes in supporting that single mother who works to provide for her children and give them a better quality life. Obama and his running mate, Joe Biden, want to create a law that gives all workers a minimum of 7 sick days so that single mothers can care for their children without fear of losing their jobs.

Obama understand the important that early childhood education plays in our society -- another issue that my organization staunchly supports. He has the Zero to Five plan, which provides critical support to children and their parents.

Title IX, equal pay for an equal day; raising the minimum wage; creating an affordable health care system; ensuring our social security, creating an economic environment for women to save for retirement -- these are all issues that Obama supports for Women and Moms. I encourage you to visit his website and read up on the issues that affect all of women -- many of us who are mothers -- and vote for who I believe is the candidate who has our country -- and our children's -- future in mind.

My daughter the dog

The panting. The barking. The licking.

It's enough to drive a sleep-deprived mother over the edge. I'm ready for the"puppy" to leave our home. But alas, my three-year-old isn't quite ready to put the puppy to bed. She loves acting like a puppy -- even driving her father crazy by licking his arm.

I wouldn't mind so much if there were some perks to this strange behavior. You know like a dog that knows to sit on command? It would be wonderful if when I tell her to stop running, she'd actually do it. Or like a dog -- if she would be content to take a long nap on a Sunday afternoon.

But the only thing we experience with this odd behavior is embarassment when she licks at a stranger or walks around on all fours barking. I can take comfort in the knowledge that my friends' children (who are about the same age) also act like puppies. In fact, when I did a little research for this post, I came across a site that listed many mothers comments about their children acting like puppies, dinosaurs and horses! Nearly all the mothers who posted thought the behavior was cute, not strange. No one seems to have an explanation for why children act like animals, though. I know their imaginations are growing and it's a normal part of their development, but geesh.

We ignore the behavior in hopes that she'll stop. When I've finally reached my limit, though, I bribe her, saying that "doggies aren't allowed in stores and so you can't go with me;" or "doggies don't know how to read and so we won't be able to have any bedtime stories tonight."

I can handle when she wants to do Kung Fu like Kung Fu Panda. I know that she's only acting out scenes from one of her favorite movies. But we don't own a dog and I'm not sure what this fascination is with the canines.

It seems mimicking this behavior is quite common and maybe normal, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with your child is "pawing" at your neighbor who has come over to borrow a cup of sugar.

Happy Birthday to Me!

No, it's not my birthday.

But there are several children in our community who I know have celebrated a birthday recently. A fellow working mother and friend's son celebrated his 5th birthday today.

I met a gentleman Tuesday night who told me his child recently celebrated a birthday with a Chuck E. Cheese party. We then discussed how we absolutely despise the hell for all parents -- Chuck E. Cheese -- and how our children absolutely love the place. Our conversation continued into the madness that surrounds birthday parties.

I know our daughters are spoiled on their birthdays because they have turned into a month-long celebration. First, we have a party with family here in the Kanawha Valley. Then we have a party at our house with neighbors and friends from playdates and/or preschool. Then we celebrate on a smaller scale (just cake and ice cream) with relatives in Morgantown. It's insane. It was so bad that our oldest daughter -- Belle -- woke every day thinking it was her birthday. She know thinks when someone else has a birthday that it's her birthday as well.

My friend whose son turned five today shared with me a similar tale. A party at the Clay Center with his friends. A party at the preschool with his classmates and then a party at the house with his family. At least I'm not alone on this insane party planning venture.

And apparently, once your child gets into school the birthday party extravaganza takes on a new twist: attending every one of your child's classmate's parties. That sounds costly and time-consuming! And from what I hear the parents aren't all that friendly at these parties. It makes me fearful of what's yet to come.

As if we working moms didn't live with enough guilt, but we hoist more upon ourselves by trying to one-up each other on who had the best theme and the best giveaways at the birthday party.

When does the madness end? When did celebrating a year of accomplishments, growth and wisdom turn into a three-ring circus? How do we as mothers (with so little time on our hands) turn this ship around from its wayward course and simplify birthdays. Are the days of a little cake and ice cream and a special present to commemorate the occasion gone?

Unthinkable act

In an age, when community leaders and activists are holding community forums to discuss how to address hate crimes in our community, it is unthinkable that right here in our backyard a family is teaching two toddlers how to fight.

A video was posted on YouTube of two toddlers being urged by family members to fight and use obscenities while they fight. The disturbing video was shot in front of Hometown Elementary School in Hometown, WV.

Details of the whole incident are sketchy and confusing, as there are different family connections involved. The Charleston Gazette article attempts to explain the distorted family tree, but I have to admit I got lost reading it. The parents are divorced. Aunts are involved. There seems to be multiple family members who were aware of this horrible incident and yet didn't feel the need to alert the authorities. No, it was a local TV station (WSAZ) that informed the sheriff's office about the video. The video doesn't appear to be on YouTube anymore. You can watch an interview with the family members on WSAZ.com

What's even more disturbing is the mother of one of the children had been arrested in December 2007 for leaving her child in the car while she shopped -- in 37-degree weather. Apparently, DHHR did not feel that the mother needed to have her child taken away from her and now 8 months later, this disturbing incident appears on YouTube. Like it's a laughing matter. Like the parents aren't responsible for reaching the children to live in a world with peace, dignity, justice and freedom.

Around my office and at our daughters' pre-school, we often refer to the saying, "hands are for helping not for hurting."

I certainly hope that the Putname County Sheriff's Office and DHHR take all measures to ensure the safety of these children. These children need to be loved and taught that fighting and violence are not acceptable ways to cope with issues -- and certainly isn't entertainment!

A chance to reconnect

This weekend was about a chance to reconnect.

It was about time to reconnect with myself. Time to reconnect with my husband and time to unplug and reconnect with a simpler way of living.

My parents requested that the girls begin what they hope will become an annual tradition for our girls -- an extended visit at Grandma and Grandpa's house. So Wednesday evening, I drove Belle and Lilly to Flatwoods, where we had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa and then they went on their merry way.

When I returned home -- solo -- my husband and I felt a bit awkward. What do we do now that there aren't two small people to bath and wrestle into bed? I was both weird and refreshing to make as much noise as I wanted at 11 p.m. without fear of waking little people.

It didn't take long for Andrew and I to appreciate this new found freedom we had. Freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted and to enjoy ourselves as a young married couple again. Over the course of three and half days, we rediscovered ourselves individually and corporately and learned that it sure is easier to enjoy each other when we're not breaking up fights over toys or wrestling children into bed. We enjoyed not one, but two dinners out to nice restaurants. What an experience to be able to sit down for an entire meal and not worry about entertaining the children long enough for the food to arrive -- only then to have to make a quick exit because you've used up all your tricks waiting for the food.

We traveled to our family's cabin in Pocahontas County, where we enjoyed the great outdoors. We roasted marshmallows. Took a drive through the country and just chilled. I was able to finish a novel that I've been reading -- eat, pray, love -- and make my way through more than half of a second novel -- Swapping Live by Jane Green. I have to admit that I have a guilty pleasure of chic lit, especially by British authors. (I secretly wish I was British. Just love the accents!) Jane Green has written several good novels that I've ready -- Jemima J, Mr. Maybe and others. Her latest novel, ironically, is timed well for this stage in my life. Swapping Lives is about a single, British journalist of a woman's magazine who swaps lives for a month with an American mother of two, who appears to have the perfect life in surbabia.

I'm only 3/4 of the way through the novel, but it's been entertaining to read how we all feel the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. How when you're single you wish you had the perfect country house, the handsome husband who adores you, two adorable children and don't forget the dog! When you're married with two children and struggling to have it all -- career and family -- you daydream of how wonderful the single life was. In the end, I'm sure Amber -- the surbabia mother -- will realize that she has a wonderful family and just needs to make a few adjustments to her life to not get trapped in the whole Desperate Housewives thing going on in her town.

After this weekend, I realized that I can still enjoy time with myself and with my husband. And that it's good to take some time away for the two of us -- so we can reconnect and rediscover that love that allowed us to create two beautiful and wonderful children!