No, it's not my birthday.
But there are several children in our community who I know have celebrated a birthday recently. A fellow working mother and friend's son celebrated his 5th birthday today.
I met a gentleman Tuesday night who told me his child recently celebrated a birthday with a Chuck E. Cheese party. We then discussed how we absolutely despise the hell for all parents -- Chuck E. Cheese -- and how our children absolutely love the place. Our conversation continued into the madness that surrounds birthday parties.
I know our daughters are spoiled on their birthdays because they have turned into a month-long celebration. First, we have a party with family here in the Kanawha Valley. Then we have a party at our house with neighbors and friends from playdates and/or preschool. Then we celebrate on a smaller scale (just cake and ice cream) with relatives in Morgantown. It's insane. It was so bad that our oldest daughter -- Belle -- woke every day thinking it was her birthday. She know thinks when someone else has a birthday that it's her birthday as well.
My friend whose son turned five today shared with me a similar tale. A party at the Clay Center with his friends. A party at the preschool with his classmates and then a party at the house with his family. At least I'm not alone on this insane party planning venture.
And apparently, once your child gets into school the birthday party extravaganza takes on a new twist: attending every one of your child's classmate's parties. That sounds costly and time-consuming! And from what I hear the parents aren't all that friendly at these parties. It makes me fearful of what's yet to come.
As if we working moms didn't live with enough guilt, but we hoist more upon ourselves by trying to one-up each other on who had the best theme and the best giveaways at the birthday party.
When does the madness end? When did celebrating a year of accomplishments, growth and wisdom turn into a three-ring circus? How do we as mothers (with so little time on our hands) turn this ship around from its wayward course and simplify birthdays. Are the days of a little cake and ice cream and a special present to commemorate the occasion gone?
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4 comments:
My 4 year old had a week full of parties. But I think the "madness" of it all is driven by us working moms wanting the best for our kids - and feeling a little bit guilty along the way.
The cupcakes at daycare just ensure that our kids have a great day because then everyone knows it's their birthday and we have just that little amount of guilt that we have stuck them somewhere for the entire day while we go off to work.
Then we have cake that night - simply because we missed our precious birthday girl all day.
Then comes the weekend, which is the first time grandparents can get involved.
And, you don't want to leave out playdate friends on Saturday afternoon - and the prerequisite of an afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese.
My only problem with the Chuckster is that they don't offer much beyond soda for the kids. There's enough excitement going on that I don't want to pump Mia full of additional sugar. I actually don't mind that place. I kind of like running around with my kids and defeating them at ski ball, but I am overly competitive when it comes to that thing. It just seems a very safe place to me - and it was a lifesaver on cold winter afternoons. It can get a bit loud, yes I agree, and the crowd can be "interesting." But where else can you get your child stamped so no one can walk out with her, grab a slice of pizza and play for hours on end for a few bucks?? And no, I don't work there or own stock.
I think the insanity comes in with birthday gifts. I clean out the playroom once every 3 months and it's embarassing. There's no way we need that stuff. My little ones don't even remember half of the stuff I end up donating. And no presents for anyone younger than 2 years old! They can't even really understand it's a birthday party and my 1 year old played with the box for days.
So....next time you find yourself stuck in Chuck E. Cheese, grab a beer (yes, they sell beer there and no, it's not shameful to have one during a birthday party) and take a stab at ski ball. I bet you would like it - but you wouldn't be better than me.
I agree that we working moms are driving a lot of the birthday party madness because of guilt. That's why I'm saying let's just face the guilt and stop overdoing it. All of the scheduling issues with out of town relatives certainly factors into the multiple parties.
I honestly don't mind Chuck E. Cheese. For the same reasons you stated. I LOVE ski ball and the girls have a great time. It's the germ-aphobic husband who can't handle the overstimulation and worries about what illness we're going to contract while we're there. As soon as we hit the car... out comes the antibac lotion! And while I LOVE ski ball, I'm not very good at it so yes, you'd probably kick my butt! Maybe that should be an adult afternoon playdate!
As with most things in life, how you approach decision making and behavior has everything to do with intention and motives. What is your intention for going "all out"? is it because you feel pressure to keep up with your neighbor's parties and schwag bags? Is it because your kids really WANT the hand made cake with functioning ferris wheel? Is it because of working mom guilt?
i confess that I go to the extremes. At a Spy Party, I recreated France in my basement! At a Carnival Party, my friends nd relatives manned over 12 "booths" and a ticket redemption section at the end!
But, i do it because i enjoy the creative outlet. I do it because parties are a great cooperative project that me and my daughters can work on together.
And... i do it to spite Chuck e Cheese. I do not like that rat.
Anna J! :)
Love this post. Can so much relate to it.
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